Three of Me

I am not even sure that I know who I am, so how could you?

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Lizzie #1: I have heard that I have lived a pretty interesting life thus far. Some say that I am a slut who can’t manage to keep her clothes on, while others insist that I am a tease and a prude. The detailed stories I have heard astound me – mostly because I do not understand how someone has that amount of time to create such an elaborate story. About me on top of it all – I wouldn’t even take the time to make up a story to make my life sound more interesting. From bar fights, to destruction of property, to bribing a man to go out with me, and even to the extent that I was arrested at one point (though the reason behind the arrest was never revealed…). I would love to meet this Lizzie so I could listen to these dramatic stories about my wild and exciting life that I have lived.

Lizzie #2: And then there is this other life I have heard about. The life that includes excessive amounts of laying around doing absolutely nothing. I am worthless. I am lazy. I do not try – at anything. No values, morals, no motivation, no future plans. In fact, sitting around abusing drugs, drinking excessive amounts of alcohol, and doing all that I can to gain as much attention as possible is not only my goal, but my specialty as well. In short, I am falling full speed down to the pits of destruction.  People view me as a ticking bomb; they never know what this crazy woman might do, or when I may completely lose my mind. Of course, no one wants to miss that epic show, so there is a full crowd of spectators waiting to catch a glimpse of the action. Personally, I would not jump at the opportunity to join the group of nosy people watching this Lizzie slowly deteriorate. I would instead like to talk to her and see if there is any way that I could help.

So who am I? Am I the wild, crazy party animal who never quits? Or am I the lethargic woman with no future? In case you didn’t guess it, the answer is neither. I won’t lie to you and say that I was born the perfect child who grew into an innocent, well-behaved teenager who blossomed into a mature, responsible adult. I am far from perfect, but I am giving all that I have to make the best of the life I was given.  I’ve made plenty of mistakes, and I will reflect on some of the ones that have affected me the most and made me into who I am today. So again, who am I? I am me. Love me or hate me; I’m the one and only me.

Accept me as I am, and I will do the same. Let’s explore the bushes that everyone likes to beat around. Let’s face life and everything it throws at us head on. Let’s do this together. We must believe that we can make a difference. We can make the uncomfortable comfortable. We can make stigmas disappear. We can change the world.

In the words of Heidi Wills, “We can choose to be affected by the world, or we can choose to affect the world.”

Nothing is impossible with a little bit of faith, hope, love, kindness, and determination.

Author: Lizzie

I am the one you never really knew.

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