Gold Medal

I’ve never won a gold medal. 
I imagine it would feel great. 
But that solid gold must not feel like lei. 
Rather it would tug down on you. 
Like the numerous emotions pulling at my heart. 
I can physically feel the weight. 
Lonely. Depressed. Angry. Joyful. Offended. 
A twister of feelings battling for center stage.
A fight to the death. 
I cannot admit who I want to be victorious. 
But this war will not be over soon. 
The collateral damage will be upsetting. 
No amount of negotiation would cease this argument. 
I am forced to sit here. 
Sit here and try to ignore the chains around my neck. 
I long for someone to come and set me free. 
End this long-term nightmare. 
Take it all away. 
Impossible thinking is pointless. 
I don’t see the hurt ending soon. 
All I wanted was a gold medal. 
Instead I was given chains of painful thoughts. 
Thoughts that will haunt me. 
A sleepless night ahead. 
I wish I could say I will fight back. 
I wish I could say I won’t give up. 
But the future of my night is leaking eyes. 
Tears and a heavy heart. 
And if sleep shall come over me. 
Only traumatic dreams await. 
May peace find my soul. 
And I urge you to take my advice. 
Never lust over a gold medal. 
Even the most appealing things in life do not guarantee happiness.
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Author: Lizzie

I am the one you never really knew.

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